Real Touch Blog

Coincidence…we think not

Cleaving on the heels of Richter Scale Day have been the media reports of a senior Iranian cleric’s controversial theory that immodestly-dressed women can cause earthquakes.

According to CBS News, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi – we just call him Hojo – was quoted in Iranian media last week as saying that “Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.”

While a student at Purdue University organized a “Boobquake” event to disprove the cleric’s claims, we felt there might be some merit to his theory of tata-generated tremors.

For the sake of science and truth, our crack research team at RealTouch Laboratories worked through the night collecting data. Using RealTouch’s advanced haptic technology, these brave men tuned in, turned on and plugged in. From the massive mammaries of Lisa Ann to the petite but powerful martini glasses of Paris Hilton, they left no breast unturned to discover if the truth was really out there.

While seismologists around the globe felt nothing, the test team certainly did. Unfortunately, no one from the team was available for comment. Several rolled over and went to sleep while others were equally unresponsive, just starring at the ceiling looking quite contented. Final result – Yes, women can cause earthquakes but only on an intimate level with the epicenter somewhere close to a man’s zipper.

So for women who do not dress modestly, lead young men astray, and corrupt their chastity, go to RealTouch.com and let the shaking begin.