Tiger Woods said today that he’ll be on the tee at Augusta for this year’s Masters. The truth is that being master of his own domain would have kept him on the tour all this time. According to a news report on RadarOnline, Tiger’s wife seems to be more upset about the quality rather than the quantity of his slices and hooks.
Joslyn James, Holly Sampson… “You slept with a porn star,” are the words that repeatedly come out of Elin Woods mouth according to the story.
The truth is that Tiger could have any porn star he wanted by the tail with RealTouch. If only he listened to Kansas City radio host Johnny Dare who said about RealTouch, “I don’t know if this isn’t the greatest technological achievement of all time.”
He should have picked up a copy of Creative Loafing that lauded, “There’s a magical new device that advances the art of self-gratification. The nifty gadget is always in the mood and never complains when you throw your underwear on the floor.”
Magical and nifty. You cannot get better than magical and nifty, especially when talking about sex.
Alas, Tiger could have avoided all of his problems by cleaning his club with a RealTouch, keeping his balls clean and his wife from taking a 2-iron to the SUV. A couple of hundred bucks spent versus millions in endorsements and prize money lost. You do the math.
Oh yes, get a RealTouch and you can look yourself in the mirror and say, “You slept with a porn star.” Over and over again.
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